Pew Learning for Young Worshipers

The parenting years are training years! There's potty training, voice training, executive control training, strength and core training. And, then there's what we call pew training, those moments on Sundays when littles learn to sit, enjoy, and later contribute to "big church".

Training years can be exhausting, marathon sessions of reminders, follow throughs, and well-dones.

At least they've been for us.

We've parented children with active minds and busy hands, lively imaginations and energetic bodies.

These traits didn't change on Sunday mornings!   

Pew training is not a new fad. It has been taking place for generations. I remember sitting in the pew as a child. Sitting by my grandmother, I watched as she dug in her purse to find me a mint. Mint in mouth, I handed Grammy a pen, a hint I wanted to play tic-tac-toe. Later in the service, my mom wrote a number on the church bulletin and I would hunt through the hymnal for the hymn with the corresponding numeral. I loved sitting with my family in church. I felt big, part of a larger community of people.

I am thankful for the sacrifice my parents made to include me in their Sunday morning worship. 

Mike and I have been pew training for more than 25 years. Currently, our Sunday worship times include coloring, puzzle solving, and bead stringing as our just over two-year-old daughter prefers to sit in the service (as long as she can) with our family. To help her in her desire to be with the family, I pack a bag of treasures, things for her to look forward to, just as I anticipated Grammy's mints and games of tic-tac-toe.

How do I prepare for pew training? It's all about what I pack in our bag. 

What's in the bag? 

  • thick cardboard puzzles with piece count appropriate to the age. Our toddler will stand in front of the church pew chair and solve the puzzle on the seat of the chair. 
  • a few board books, especially ones with textures or quiet flaps. I change these out frequently so there is a new selection in the bag. 
  • crayons and quarter sheets of cardstock. Colored pencils become drumsticks and noise makers, hence the crayons, and standard paper creates a crinkly paper cacophony. Cardstock quarters has quieted coloring sessions. 
  • a quiet snack in a quiet wrapper.

In addition, I pack a few treasures for our preschoolers and early learners, just in case. 

  • thick cardboard puzzles, again piece count appropriate to the age and ability of the child. 
  • a small notebook and crayons. Some of our young worshippers enjoy drawing something they hear about during the sermon. 
  • a tablet of stickers for use with notebook or to fill the empty white space on the bulletin. For emergent readers and spellers, I pack letter stickers. 
  • a toy car. 
  • a quiet snack in a quiet wrapper. 
  • beads and a string or pipe cleaner for stringing and small motor skill building. A plastic bag quiets shuffling beads.
  • a small doll or a few Lego figures. 

On the weeks I forget to pack a treasure, I pull a pen from my purse and allow little worshippers to draw on the church bulletin. Our early learner likes to search for and circle vowels or specific letters she chooses on the printed bulletin. 

Not every Sunday unfolds smoothly, even if I prepared. For example, this weekend I spent the majority of the service in the lobby! Even still, I don't feel my efforts were wasted. I know I made it one step closer to the goal: being able to sit in church as a family.

A few weeks ago, I caught a glimpse of our pew. There stood our children, toddler to adult (plus a few friends an adult child invited) extending the entire length of the pew. What a blessing! Twenty-seven years of pew training (and counting) in the making. Our efforts were worth every obstacle we had to overcome.

The efforts we made in the pew training season proved fruitful. 

Fellow pew trainers, YOU got this! May you one day look down the pew and see the fruits of your labor standing and worshiping together. 

Legacy: Learning Alongside

It's that time again. Time to paint the exterior of our house.

Who is the first person I consult, to find out what needs to happen first, then second, and so on?

My Dad is a carpenter genius.

He can fix anything! 

I remember when I came to this conclusion.

I was an elementary girl, a constant companion alongside my Dad in his wood shop. In that shop, he created from wood, sometimes the wood from trees near our home. He made dining room chairs, grandfather clocks, hutches, and my toy box!  


Our kitchen--the one in which I prepare meals for my family--was crafted in his mind and made with his hands. 


He is my Dad, but he is also a mentor. He is a mentor for me and for my children. We learn from his genius. 

He has helped us with many home projects--roofing, kitchen and bathroom demo and design, home add-ons.

But this time was different.

I am beginning to realize my time, our time with my Dad--the time from which I can soak in all he has to share--might be limited.

I want to soak in all the wisdom I can, and I want my children to have the same opportunity. 

So, last week began our house painting project. It was a PROJECT!


Simple paint and brushes, but a TON of work and perseverance. 


Pressure washing to finish, prep to fill cracks, trim work to be painted, shutters to be covered, and brushes to clean. But we did it as a family--grandpa, parents, and children! Together.

Each person quickly found they were better at one job than another. And, for some there were skills to learn. Some learned to trim paint, others practiced rolling. Some found joy cleaning brushes--I mean, playing in water!  I realized my children were learning alongside my Dad--a legacy--much like when I learned by his side in the wood shop, alongside him when we added-on to our house. I want my children to learn all they can from him. 

Indeed, every child--toddler to adult--learned something this week. Some heard and then imitated my Dad's positive attitude. Others learned how to hang a roller on the side of a paint can. Another observed how Pop angled the brush to paint the mortar joints. 


It was a PROJECT with lots of real learning, from a man who is leaving a legacy. 


As I painted, I wondered. 

What legacy I will leave with my children.

Will it be the books we read together? Will it be the cheesecakes we baked together? Will it be my positive comments and words of encouragement or the "be a blessing" I spoke as they left the house? Will it be something I couldn't have fathomed, something which has yet to take place? 

I don't know what legacy I will leave with my children. But I do know one thing. The time, effort, sacrifice--the intentionality of my days--will matter. I know so. I learned that from my Dad (and my mom, to be honest)! 

Parents, we will leave a legacy.

What will that legacy be? 

Likely, it will be something you and I did intentionally, with items which are real and personal, with moments which are relational in nature.  

Our moments matter, every one of them.

Three Ways to Gather Up Courage

Courage. 

That is what it takes for moms to make it through the day--for me to make it through the day!

As I am working with one learner--working through six long division problems to cement the steps--I am also caring for another little who had a tooth extracted earlier in the morning. There are dishes in the sink (just a few but they are weighing on me), laundry in the washer and laundry waiting to be folded. Oh, and a toddler needs lunch and dinner is shouting to be started.

In the midst of all this, I receive a text from a dear friend.

"How is your courage today?" 

At that moment--the moment when hurting gums, forgotten math steps, lingering dishes, and piles of laundry were closing in on me (at least it felt that way)--I needed that text. My courage was fading. I know I'm not the only mom whose courage fades now and then. For some of us, courage fades several times a day depending on our circumstances.

Do you know what was so special to me about that text I received?

The text from my sweet friend reminded me I had courage within me.

Courage is within me. My friend knew it. That is why she asked how my courage was; not if I had courage today.  Her question reminded me I had courage. I just had to gather it and persevere through the day. 

Dear mom with many facets to your day, how is your courage today?

Seriously, I know you have courage. It is there--just like mine, even if we don't feel it at the moment.

So, how do we proceed? 

How do we gather up our courage to persevere through the day?

Know. You are in good company. That's right! Every mom struggles with courage at some point--if not daily--in their motherhood journey. We soothe sick children, battle laundry wars, and fight mind games with dinner preparation. You, mom, are not alone in your frustrations or your discouragement. How could you connect with friends--maybe an impromptu visit to the playground or walk around the block-- who could remind you that you are not alone?

Admit. Yep! Admit fear. Admit discouragement. This morning when I woke, I acknowledged my fears for the day: how my daughter would react to the anesthesia, how I would orchestrate the day amid her recovery needs. Having acknowledged my fears and concerns, I was better prepared for what might come. Hence, as I was driving to the dentist with my daughter, I was able to listen to her nervous chatter and endless questions. Later, when she needed pain meds and soft foods amid math, diaper changes, and dryer buzzing, I was prepared mentally. I admitted my fears and later my discouragements and was better able to deal with the details of my day. 

Know. Know the why. As moms, why do we do what we do? For me, when I know the why behind anything I do--cleaning, cooking, running errands, reading aloud to children, offering kind words to Mike--I'm motivated to complete the task at hand, even when I know it will be hard. Knowing my why makes a difference. For example, I took my daughter to the dentist today (and reviewed math over and over with another) because I care deeply about their physical and academic well-being. That care for their well-being allowed me to sit on the dentist chair and hold my daughter's hand (our dentist is awesome) and it allowed me to sit and redo math problems even when other things clamored for my attention.


As moms, we all face challenge, difficulty, and pain. Many of us have also faced danger.  


Knowing I am in the amazing company of other moms who experience the same things I do, admitting my fears, concerns, and discouragements, and knowing the why behind what I was doing was essential to staying afloat. 

Did my courage begin to fade today?

Yes. Yes, and I did get discouraged mid-stream when my daughter needed care, laundry was shouting at me, math needed re-doing, and dinner wasn't more than a thought. However, my friend's text message was the reminder that I indeed had the courage in me, I just needed to gather it up. 

How is your courage today? 

I KNOW you have it in YOU!

 

 

 

A Story, A Masterpiece

Caught between the unfolding events, we wonder what will happen next?

What will the next paragraph reveal?

What light does this paragraph cast on the next chapter?

Our lives are eloquently-written classics, penned by the Author. We sit on the edge of today's paragraph waiting to see how today's actions will unfold and impact the rest of our story. It is a masterpiece!

I don't know about you, but I constantly remind myself not to be eager and read ahead--like I longed to do when reading my favorite chapter book as a child--but to enjoy today's chapter; the sights, the sounds, to take them in and relish them.

As I focus on today's rising action, I might find myself frustrated, discouraged, wanting to put down the story and read no longer. Or, I might find myself seeking, praying, content, and full of gratitude. I believe this is how the Author intended me to read this masterpiece, this classic. I remind myself not skip ahead, impatiently reading what might spoil today's joy.

And then there are tomorrows. Oh, what about those tomorrows?

Tomorrow will reveal new events, new characters, new lessons in due time when the sun rises and mercies are new. Will we be content to enjoy today's amazing paragraph and not read ahead? 

I pray I will. How about you?