Light-Hearted Reads for Difficult Moments

Sometimes the only thing I know to do is pull them close and read aloud. 

Difficult days. Napless afternoons. A sick grandma. Health issues. Flooded laundry room. Itchy mosquito bites. 

It had been a long day. We had accomplished math and worked on our family project for Christmas around the world night. Yet, I was determined. There was much to be done before our December baby was to due to be born.  On little sleep, I ventured out with four children to help them get their Christmas shopping done early. Honestly, my intentions were good.

Though the early afternoon was quite productive, mid-afternoon arrived with traffic jams, hungry tummies, and tears. I was overcooked and dinner hadn't even been started. 

I knew if I didn't hand out a few crackers for snack and gather the emotions, the night would continue to be difficult. 

I grabbed a sleeve of cheddar rounds from the pantry, asked the oldest to select two books from the book basket, and pulled teary-eyed littles to my lap (what was left of it). Two pages into the first book, emotions settled and crumbs accumulated on the couch cushions. 

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Stories have power; power to calm attitudes, power to turn tears into smiles, power to smooth rough evenings. Stories pull people close and offer diversion.

Stories also bring understanding; understanding of emotions, understanding as to how to be a part of solutions, understanding of people, places and events. Stories bring perspective. 

Stories can lighten heaviness. At times, stories offer a metaphorical hand to hold through difficult seasons. For our family, a humorous light-hearted read invited us to chuckle through paragraphs when our days were heavy and sad in Grandma's last weeks.  In those times, stories helped lighten our heaviness, soothing hearts, souls, and minds. 

Stories help answer questions and bring clarity. We all have questions, children and adults.  In fact, a whole family may be trying to make sense of confusing, hurtful, or uncomfortable circumstances. In those times, stories can offer opportunities to see situations more clearly or from a different perspective. 

Stories help us know we are not alone. I remember reading Where the Red Fern Grows, written by Wilson Rawls, as a middle schooler after having a pet die. Knowing other children had been through and understood the loss of a pet, I no longer felt alone in my sadness. 

Have you had a difficult afternoon? Maybe a string of doctor visits have left your family exhausted, in need of fun and light-hearted humor.  Consider one of the fun reads below. One of these titles might just be an invitation to some down time, time away from stressful moments.

Picture Books

• Make Way for Ducklings, Robert McCloskey
• The Snowy Day, Ezra Jack Keats
• Guess How Much I Love You, Sam McBratney
• Caps for Sale, Esphyr Slobodkina 
• No Roses for Harry, Gene Zion
• The Napping House, Audrey Wood

Chapter Books

• Mr. Popper's Penguins, Richard and Florence Atwater
• The Borrowers, Mary Norton
• Pippi Longstocking, Astrid Lindgren
• The Cricket in Times Square, George Selden
• The Phantom Tollbooth, Norton Juster
• The Best Christmas Pageant Ever, Barbara Robinson
• Henry Huggins, Beverly Cleary
• Homer Price, Robert McCloskey

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Sometimes pulling the family close to enjoy a good story is needed in order to carry hearts, minds, and souls away from present difficulties. 

Every. Moment. Matters.

Are you in need of encouragement? Want to know more about how your days can be intentional, real, and relational? Click below to sign up for the Celebrate Simple Newsletter. 

Living History: 30 Questions that Bring History to Life

We--family and friends--sat around tables at my grandmother's 90th birthday. Most were enjoying cake, punch, and conversation. One woman, sitting alone, attracted our attention. My children and I carried our cake plates over and sat alongside her. She was delighted. 

We introduced ourselves. She told us how she knew Grams. Then I asked, 

"Tell us something about your life."

And she did. 

"I was an Olympic runner with Wilma Rudolph." 

I wasn't too sure I believed her--you know, memory care and all. However, after talking, the story became clear and I was convinced. The kids marveled and asked questions--all the important whys, wheres, whens, whats, and hows. After our new friend finished her cake, she insisted we wait at the table while she went to her apartment. 

She had something to show us. 

Fifteen minutes later, she walked in the room with a photo album and an Olympic torch! No kidding! She sat back down at the table, opened up the album and pointed to a yellowed newspaper clipping of her standing alongside Wilma. 

We asked more questions, just like we had in our conversations with Grammy.

These women were living history--memoirs--testimonies of real-life, real moments in time. 

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My grandmother celebrated 95 birthdays in her life. In our times together, she shared memories of her childhood, her family, her hobbies, and of times in history she experienced first-hand. She lived through the Great Depression, WWII, the Kennedy Era, the invention of many modern conveniences. She remembers events well, better than most of us on any given day.

She holds within her, a living history, of our world and of our family.

Several years ago, my then seven-year-old daughter questioned the age of her great-grandmother and made an insightful comment as we studied the Great Depression.

“We must ask Grammy about her experiences during the Great Depression. She might be the only person left alive that we can talk to about living during that time.”

Ah, yes child, you understand the importance of passing down stories.

Every person has stories and each of us can be story tellers, story bearers, regardless of our age. Stories connect generations; the stories we long to hear, the stories our hearts need to hear.

When you have opportunity to visit with someone, particularly someone with age and experience, consider the stories they might share. They will likely be eager to share and you may learn something no one else could share. 

Questions to ask:

• Where and when were you born?
• Did you have brothers and sisters? Were they younger or older than you?
• Tell me about the house in which you grew up.
• What activities did you enjoy as a child?
• What do you remember about your parents or grandparents?
• Did you go to church? Tell me about the church you attended.
• Did you have a favorite book? Who read to you?
• Tell me about your school.
• What was your favorite subject in school?
• Did you have any pets?
• Did you play a musical instrument?
• What was your favorite type of music? What were some of your favorite songs?
• What did you enjoy doing? Did you have any hobbies?
• Who were your friends? What did you enjoy doing together?
• What is your favorite childhood memory?
• What was your favorite food? 
• How much did a hamburger and fries cost?
• Did you have a job? At which age did you start working?
• Tell me about your first car.
• How much did your first car cost?
• Did you marry?
• If so, how did you meet your spouse? What did you enjoy doing together? 
• Tell me about the proposal.
• Did you have children? How many? What were their names?
• Did you travel? Where did you visit?
• Did you serve in the military? Where and when did you serve? What do you remember about your service?
• What inventions do you remember and how did they impact your life?
• Have you ever been to a World's Fair? Which one? What was it like?
• What historical events do you remember? 
• Did you belong to any organizations or clubs?
• Was there someone who strongly impacted or changed your life?

How does what I experienced with that dear Olympic runner, my grandmother, and others impact me and my family? Today, I will purpose to tell at least one personal story to my children, one with which they might better understand their heritage and their world.

History can be intentional, real, and relational. 

When Homeschooling Has to Happen Away from Home

An elderly grandmother needing care. 

An unexpected hospital stay.

A medical emergency.

There have been seasons in our homeschooling journey when we had to take education on the road, away from the house.

Often, those seasons weren't optional or even anticipated like the field trips we eagerly scheduled to local children's museums or park days with friends. And, generally those seasons were unexpected, not planned. 

During one such season, great-grandma had multiple doctor's appointments. Learning looked different. Instead of reviewing math at the kitchen table, we answered word problems in the car or waiting in the doctor's office. And, of course there were life skills like holding the door while Grams pushed her walker through the entrance.

In those seasons, we schooled out of a canvas tote bag packed intentionally for unexpected moments when learning happened away from home. Included in the bag were

• review worksheets
• a family read-aloud
• plain white drawing paper
• colored pencils, and
• educational games

When we weren't on the road, the tote bag remained by the front door, ready to grab should we have to leave quickly. As children mastered concepts, finished independent reads, or bored of games, I replenished the contents. 

There was also a season--years later--when Grammy was nearing the end of her life. Those four months were the most spontaneous of my twenty-three year homeschooling journey. In a moment's notice, we had to be ready to relocate and educate en-route or on-site. There were days when we were gone all day, spending hours in places where we had to be quiet and occupied. Though I re-instated the tote bag routine, often what was packed wasn't sufficient or appropriate for the situation. And, there were times we needed diversion, a change, something to divert attention if even for a few minutes.

During that season in our journey, we: 

• Counted. For our littlest learners, counting always helped to pass time whether driving or waiting. We would count by ones, twos, fives, tens, and hundreds, depending on the skill level of the learner. I kept scrap paper and handwriting paper in my purse so that if we were in a place where we could write, we would practice forming numbers or writing numbers in sequence. To vary the game, I would say a number and the learner would say the number before and after the given number. 
• Practiced oral math facts. With multiple ability children riding in the van, I gave the youngest learner an easy addition problem, the next learner a harder addition fact, and the oldest elementary learner a multiplication problem or oral word problem.

In doing so, each learner was able to work at whatever level he or she needed to. The oral review was good for everyone!

• Played "Starts With". This game was one of those which we could start or stop at any time. For the youngest learners, I would say a letter and ask for each child to say a word which started with the given letter. For example, I would say "F" and she would say "fish". For older learners, I would give a consonant blend (br, sl, sk, ch, bl, st, cr, etc.) or change the request, perhaps asking for a word that ended with a given consonant or consonant blend. 
• Spelled most frequently misspelled words. I kept a list of words--varied levels because though a word on a list is placed in one grade, it may be placed in another grade on another list--in my tote bag to pull out when needed. To practice, I asked each learner to spell a word at their learning level. I would say the word, use it in a sentence, and then ask the learner to spell the word orally. After the learner spelled the word, I would repeat the correct spelling and ask the next child a different word. This would allow learners who were listening to either learn new words or review silently the spelling of mastered words. This activity helped pass the time in the van, waiting room, or surgery center. Click the button for a free printable of frequently misspelled words. Remember, use this list as a guide, in a manner most helpful to your leaner. A third grade learner might be able to spell fifth grade words and vice versa.

• Rhymed words. For this oral game--which we played in the car and in waiting rooms--I would say a word and whoever was with me at the time would say a word which rhymed with the given word. To change up the activity, we would take turns being the first to give a word. This game could be started or stopped at a moment's notice. 
• Read and retold. Listening to and then retelling a story in sequence is an activity which is extremely beneficial for developing processing skills. I would read a picture book or a chapter in a chapter book and then ask learners to retell the story. To vary the game, I would start with the first event and then ask a learner to recall the next event. Together we would retell the story event by event.
• Matched states and capitals. Like the math and spelling drills, I would move around the van offering a new state or capital to each learner. In response, the learner would orally provide the match. Again, I would choose states or capitals based on the level of the child. Younger learners always started with his or her state, a relative's state, or a state we had recently studied. To change up the game, I would offer a state abbreviation and the learner would say the corresponding state. We played this game in the car while riding to great-grandma's assisted living complex. Click the button for a printable list of states and capitals.

• Played "I am Thinking of an Animal", taking turns giving clues and answers. Sometimes I made this game geographically or biome specific. For example, the parameters may have been jungle, rainforest, ocean, forest, etc. This allowed every learner to play, little to big. One of our favorite places to play this game was in the garden gazebo at great-grandma's assisted living center.
• Listened to audio books. Audio resources--music, books, plays--offered a calming diversion in otherwise disheartening circumstances. In addition, older learners were able to download audio books to a Kindle or reader and take learning with us no matter where we had to be. Our high schooler even used our experiences to earn high school credits (that's another blog post). Audio resources have been a means of continue reading or learning subjects we might not have been able to otherwise.  
• Played games. Grammy loved games and was able to play up until just weeks before she passed. She loved BINGO (great for number recognition for my littles), UNO, Othello (great for strategy), and Scrabble (spelling!). We played, enjoyed our time together, and learned!
• Talked. There was much to process after every visit with Grammy: her health, her future, her care, the people we met, on and on. Our children always had questions and it was important to put down the books and talk through concerns and questions. Through conversation, sometimes tears, we process our journey together. The relationships deepened as a result. 

I have to be honest, there were many valuable real-life learning opportunities in our unexpected seasons of education away from home--things we couldn't have learned at home.

During appointments we listened to nurses and doctors explain medical conditions, talked to patients in waiting rooms, opened and held doors for people who couldn't do so for themselves, and asked Grammy questions about her childhood. She was able to tell us about her life during the Great Depression. She remembered man walking on the moon and President Kennedy's assassination. She was a living history book!

When Grammy's health warranted stays in assisted living facilities and we visited several times a week, we made friends with nursing staff and residents. When we visited, we were able to help push resident's wheelchairs, encourage the nursing staff with treats and kind words, and visit and play games with residents who didn't have many visitors. During the holidays, we participated in an egg hunt with residents and made Christmas cards. In addition, we had important conversations about life, death, relationships, and medical care. We learned how to care for people, to extend love to folks who were walking through tough circumstances. Those months were a challenging physically and emotionally. However, relationally those four months were some of the most precious in our family's life together. 

Those days had to be intentional, real, and relational because truly every moment mattered.

We wouldn't have experienced these precious times if we weren't homeschooling. 

Have you had seasons like these, times when home education needed to be portable, moments when real and relational learning far outweighed the paper trail of progress? 

What did you do? Please share in the comments. 

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A Story, A Masterpiece

Caught between the unfolding events, we wonder what will happen next?

What will the next paragraph reveal?

What light does this paragraph cast on the next chapter?

Our lives are eloquently-written classics, penned by the Author. We sit on the edge of today's paragraph waiting to see how today's actions will unfold and impact the rest of our story. It is a masterpiece!

I don't know about you, but I constantly remind myself not to be eager and read ahead--like I longed to do when reading my favorite chapter book as a child--but to enjoy today's chapter; the sights, the sounds, to take them in and relish them.

As I focus on today's rising action, I might find myself frustrated, discouraged, wanting to put down the story and read no longer. Or, I might find myself seeking, praying, content, and full of gratitude. I believe this is how the Author intended me to read this masterpiece, this classic. I remind myself not skip ahead, impatiently reading what might spoil today's joy.

And then there are tomorrows. Oh, what about those tomorrows?

Tomorrow will reveal new events, new characters, new lessons in due time when the sun rises and mercies are new. Will we be content to enjoy today's amazing paragraph and not read ahead? 

I pray I will. How about you?

5 Comments I Don't Regret

Words are remembered, taken with us through our days. This is true for us and it is true for our children and young adults.

Words are gifts.

Looking back over twenty-seven years of parenting eight children--toddler to adult--there are words I don't regret. Words spoken aptly. Words purposeful to the moment. Words to build up. Words carried through the day...and years. 

I don't regret

"Let's go to the park!" Let me out of here!  This was a common thought in my years with many littles. With a handful of bouncy children, I needed a break. Though I thought this many times a day, I don't regret staying the course and holding my tongue. In fact, replacing "let me out of here" with "let's go to the park" kept difficult moments positive with words that brought life. I don't regret, "Let's go to the park."

"Let's  _____ together!" Fill in the blank. Let's bake together. Let's do a puzzle together. Let's build Legos. Yes, there was flour in the grout. Yes, we were eventually missing pieces (they likely got swept up with the flour and ball field clay).  And, for those wondering, I didn't particularly like Legos. However, as our adult children have spread wings and flown from our home and as my elementary learners seem to grow by the minute, I don't regret accepting their invitation (or extending offers to them) to do our days together. Oh yes, I was tired--still am. But I couldn't have reaped the relationships I have with my children (including my adult children) without sowing "let's ____together" with wild abandon, even when soil was rocky or weeds popped out of no where--meaning I was tempted to give up and quit!

As children have become adults they continue to invite me into their lives: to shop (I am not a shopper but eagerly accept) or to coffee (I didn't enjoy coffee, but now have a coffee rewards card). There are many aspects of family life which could've contributed to our relationship--and likely did--however, I suspect the relationship began to soar with the open invitation to do life together.

Who doesn't appreciate an invitation? 

"Let's take a break." Littles only sit for so long. And, if I am honest, I can only sit for so long. Yesterday, in fact, I spent several hours at the kitchen table rotating learners with questions and explanations. To stay in the game, I had to take short breaks: freshen a glass of water, stretch my legs, step outside to get the mail.

Taking breaks develops work ethic. There's a body clock in all of us, the one that signals we are about to slide off track. I'm not suggesting children take a break every time they don't like something or begin to feel uncomfortable. Just the opposite. We've all had to work through those tendencies. But if we are honest, there is a point when we become unproductive and need a mind change, if only for a moment. Helping children not only understand what their personal time frame is and then helping them lengthen it (hear attention span-that's another post) is a valuable life skill.

In addition, helping children build a repertoire of positive, productive ways to take breaks is invaluable. 

I will never regret the short breaks we took: walking around the block, skipping to the neighbor's house and back, counting to 20 when frustrated, or standing up to stretch. As our children grew, breaks offered opportunities for intentionality, conversation, and life essentials.

"Your brothers and sisters will be your best friends." Fighting and bickering can get the best of a parent; it's had me often. In fact, hearing myself speak the words "your brothers and sisters will be your best friend" reminded me that my efforts could some day reap rewards. And, they did! I don't regret speaking these words. 

Today, our adult children are intentional about coming to visit younger siblings to play games or bake cookies; to pull littles close, smile into their eyes, to get on their level. These are moments a parent treasures, moments I once dreamed would happen. And they did!

"Let's read a book." Beginning in the young years, I purposed to make books an acceptable, inviting option. With fond memories of personal picture book favorites and daddy's calming read-aloud tone, I wanted to offer the gift of story to my children. Reading several books a day (not always in one sitting) laid a foundation of enjoyment, invitation, wonder. 

I've discovered another gift of story.

When tension rises or bodies grow weary, books offer a restful oasis.

As children matured and moved passed picture books, my comment became "let's read the next chapter". 

I have a multitude of opportunities--daily--to speak words aptly, to bring life. I am sure you do as well. Will you purpose with me to choose those words today? 

For, what we sow today we will reap tomorrow. 

Want to hear more? Cheryl and Mike have added the content of this blog to a NEW workshop for 2017. 

32 Ways to Learn from Real and Relational

Some of my children love making lapbooks, others prefer unit studies. Still others learn best when we incorporate field trips into our days. And, our middle and high school young adults? They have learned at co-ops, through online courses, and with personal independent study. 

In our twenty-three years of homeschooling, our children have benefited from activities rooted in just about every educational methodology.

As beneficial and pleasurable as these experiences have been, the greatest rewards in retention and relationship have come from incorporating life moments into our days together; discovering God’s creation, serving the needs of others, and engaging in conversations.

In the younger years, we:

• Watch busy ants carry food to their hills, commenting on their phenomenal strength and work ethic.
• Till a small garden and sow seeds, watering and weeding with hopes to enjoy the abundant harvest, the fruits of patience, diligence, and perseverance.
• Build a birdhouse, hanging it in a nearby tree and observing the types of birds that enjoy the shelter.
• Weed the flower bed, discussing root systems and parts of the plant.
• Pull out a blanket after the sun goes down and gaze upward, identifying constellations, studying the night sky.
• Study and sketch the moon each night, pondering its changes.
• Solve a jigsaw puzzle or play a game, building critical thinking and problem solving skills.
• Sing together, experimenting with high and low pitches and encouraging vocal giftedness.
• Sort the laundry, learning the difference between lights and darks while engaging in conversation.
• Tidy the house, encouraging young helpers to be a part of the family team, doing what they are able.
• Peel carrots together, strengthening small motor skills while discussing life’s profound questions, like why are bats nocturnal. 
• Make lunch together, slicing bread into half-inch slices and cutting sandwiches into halves and quarters.
• Make lemon meringue pie, marveling at how the egg whites change and stiffen.
• Slice and quarter lemons, stirring in one-half a cup of sugar and filling a pitcher with water to make lemonade.
• Cuddle on the couch, reading page after page, book after book, traveling to unknown places, meeting extraordinary people.
• Look through family photo albums, recalling favorite memories and sharing family history.
• Invite people of varying backgrounds, cultures, and careers into your home, broadening our children’s understanding of the world.
• Make homemade holiday and birthday cards, sending greetings to those who might need extra cheer.

During the pre-teen, teen and young adult years, we:

• Discuss theologies, philosophies, and belief systems, expanding our young adult's understanding of how people think and apply knowledge, while building and refreshing our own knowledge base.
• Learn with our young adults, discerning when to encourage independent study and when to be involved.
• Embrace our young adult's talents, giftedness, or special interests, offering to help in the discovery and research process.
• Start a sewing project, learning and creating alongside, shoulder to shoulder.
• Sweat with our teens, practicing sports and fitness skills, caring for their physical health.
• Walk briskly around the neighborhood, praying for the neighbors while setting a foundation for life fitness.
• Complete a task together (cleaning a bedroom, washing a car, mowing the yard), lightening the load of doing it alone and engaging in conversation which may not happen otherwise. 
• Take our teens on dates (clothes shopping, tea rooms, book cafés, or sports stores), enjoying our alone time together away from the hustle-bustle of everyday life.
• Read books together, sharing feelings and insights.
• Sit with our young adults, engaging in conversation, helping them sort through challenges, uncertainties, and frustrations.
• Strive to be quick to listen, asking questions that help our young adults move through difficult circumstances or relational snags using problem solving and conflict resolution skills.
• Relax together, watching a movie or discussing a recently read book.
• Serve at a local shelter, mission, or children’s home, blessing those who need an extra dose of love while encouraging one another to care for the least served.
• Offer childcare for single moms or moms on bed rest, meeting her practical needs.
• Go on a mission trips together, experiencing new cultures and serving people whose existence matters despite difficult circumstances. 

As our children move to adulthood and away from home, I often ask what mattered most in their learning and living years at home. By far, the experiences which have impacted them most, shaped their being, are the experiences which involved the real and relational. 

As you move about your day today, embrace the real and relational. Those moments matter and they will impact your family for years to come.

Ironing Out First Day Wrinkles

Wow! 

I didn't anticipate today!

How about you?

As I sit down to post the happenings of our day, one of our first days since Mike headed back to the classroom to start the 2016-2017 school year, the toddler needs me, our adult children were coming over to spend time (in just under an hour), and dishes still need attention. 

There is no time to update you on our day, which was full, very full.

And really, the reason why I wanted to add a blog post today was to tell you...I thought about YOU in the quiet moments of my day.

YOU! 

I thought about many of you today, knowing you were likely experiencing some of the same challenges I faced, indeed, the challenges of teachers (public, private and homeschool) all over the country. 

First day--first week--wrinkles are a part of these first days. We all need time to adjust to the new, the new routine, the new year, the new subjects, the new stages in life! 

As I thought of you, I wondered if you felt a sense of community, a sense of knowing you are not alone. Because, you're not.

We are all in this together. 

So, because time is short and family is my priority tonight, I give you last year's first day post in an effort to encourage YOU!

What you did today, mattered. 

2015.

We read year round; even practice a few math problems throughout the summer. So, when today was a little wrinkled, well let's just say I ironed faster to work on the creases.

Dad headed back to school this week and we pressed forward, beginning where we left off at the end of May.

Today was hard. I moved from learner to learner feeling like I my body needed roller skates and my mind was a million places at the same time!

First there was math lesson #1. The learner didn't remember the solution process of multiplying two 2-digit numbers. Review! In ten minutes, she was on her way. On to math lesson #2, dividing a decimal by a decimal. Ten more minutes of review and assigning ten problems. She was on her way. Little learner needed a snack.

Learners #3 and #4, high schoolers, needed assistance editing Spanish essays. Only ten sentences, but IN SPANISH! An hour later, though it felt like all afternoon, they were ready to move onto the concussion video (honestly it's called a course!) mandatory for their participation on the district high school sports team. I must admit, I was wondering how many students actually watch this "video".  My athletes wondered the same thing. We watched. Why? Because we have to sign a form saying we complied. A life lesson of integrity.

While editing Spanish essays there was another request for a snack, another question about a math problem, a "How do you spell?" request, the dryer buzzed, the baby needed a diaper change, dinner needed to be started. Should've used the Crockpot, but it's our anniversary and I wanted to do something special. Phone chimes. Two text messages regarding the wedding our family will celebrate in a few short months. Oh, and the question about grad school (we have a learner filing application), and two high school transcripts to update for above mentioned athletes!

Those are just glimpses into a few hours of the day. There were several more with similar wrinkles.

How was your day?

Many of us have days like this.

To make it through the day, for it to be as successful as it could be, I had to keep perspective. I reminded myself to be intentional, moment by moment.

I had to work with the day instead of against it, even when there were more wrinkles than anticipated.

I was tempted to quit, to defer to the easier choice, but I knew the days ahead would be more difficult. Pay now or pay later. I pressed on.

The beginning of the year is like this (well, even days mid-year are like this sometimes) for home educators and for classroom educators. When I was a classroom teacher I remember wise words from a veteran teacher, "Hang in there and hang tough! If you give up early, ease up, the rest of the year will be even harder."

Yes, we read through the summer; even practiced a few math problems. But today was still a bit wrinkled.

It's okay. I am not alone. You are not alone.

Many teachers, whether in the home or in the classroom are ironing out first week wrinkles, too!

Hang in there!

What you are doing matters...a whole lot!

Life Lessons in the Laundry Room

The laundry room. Daily laundry loads.

Life reflections, unexpected.

That box. That one (yes, that assumes there are others) box in the laundry room, way up high atop the file cabinet (yes we still own one).

Last night I began the PROCESS of dejunking the laundry room, under the influence of my very organizational-minded daughter.

It started with that box.

I began digging, wrestling through papers and pictures. Tossed a few in the trash. Read entries from my college journal, the one I kept while dating Mike. Shared some of my thoughts with our children and then made a "keep" pile. I pulled out a binder of notes scrawled on napkins, scraps, and bulletins; a book someday. I added the binder to the "keep" pile. Another binder. This one dated in the 1990s full of notes from an encouragement column I wrote as a homeschool support group leader. I read over the columns, smiling at the names, remembering the faces and field trip moments. People I knew and walked the homeschooling journey with, twenty years ago.

Ah, my early years of home education with our oldest children five, seven, maybe ten years old. I purposed an environment of love, grace, enrichment; a place where intellect could be challenged and a love to learn modeled. I wanted learning to be digging deeper, studying the fascinating, fostering curiosity, but also master math facts and memorize the periodic table. I planned my days with the "goal" or "what I thought they would need" when they walked over our threshold.

I loved those days. Blossoming with potential, fresh with anticipation, hope and aspiration. I loved being a mom, being with my children, watching every light bulb light, pondering how their early passions—strategy, the outdoors, people, analytics — might be used in their future.

Forward to today.

The oldest are now adults, one graduated from college, earning an MBA, working full time and acting as CFO for a non-profit. The other, married, pursuing a doctorate in physical therapy. Each unique.

But here is the interesting part...at least to me, the lesson I reflect on.

The lesson which will impact the education of the ones still at home.

Though I envisioned young men walking across my threshold, educated a certain way, prepared for certain things, I would have never dreamed my young strategist would to teach business skills to people in Haiti. Had I known that, I would have prepared him a different way!

But wait! Prepared him a different way? He WAS prepared.

That is the lesson I learned.

Though we had our vision set on something totally different, God used our faithful prayers and provided EVERY opportunity my son needed today. His learning at home PREPARED him for where he is today. And, I am glad I really didn't know exactly what he would need, as my heroic attempts to PREPARE him would have pigeon-holed him, given him too narrow a perspective, limited to what I thought "he needed".

There is no way I would have ever fathomed him teaching business skills to business owners in Haiti.

And even if I did, how would I have taught those skills?

I look over my thoughts in those notebooks. All I thought I had to do. All I thought I knew, but really didn't understand. All the books I thought we had to read. All I purposed. All great things.

Now, I see differently.

What did he learn from his days in our home.

• The ability to communicate with others and work with individuals very different than himself.
• The ability to take risks, to visit places that might not be safe, for the sake of something bigger than he can understand.
• The ability to solve a problem, a problem he didn't even know he would have.
• The ability to pour his heart into something, not give up, and walk faithfully when the future is unknown.

That box.  The one stored in the deep, dark corners of a closet or the one atop tall piles in the laundry room. That box of lessons. 

I'm glad my daughter encouraged me to purge and organize.

In the process I was able to reflect on our years and look to the future, with new anticipation.

What opportunities will our children have ten years from now? I don't really know, and I am glad. That reflection causes me to use what we have and know today, to the best of our ability, with what is provided, and allow God to plant our feet to destination I cannot possibly know or understand.

Simple Words of Comfort

Tough times. We all have them, even our children. 

Hard things happen.

"I am in this with you."

Sitting at the learning table, a little struggles to read. 

Simple words offer comfort.

"I am in this with you."

Processing a relational hurt, a young adult lowers eyes, saddened. 

Simple words bring comfort.

"I am in this with you."

Writing spelling words that seem impossible to get right, a learner cries in frustration. 

Simple words give comfort.

"I am in this with you."

Motherhood brings long days and review lessons, unknown math facts and misread vocabulary. When those times come--and they will--both parent and child need reassuring words. Words of assurance, words of comfort. 

"I am in this with you."

Because you are and it makes all the difference. 

Who needs those words today? 

30 Reasons to Celebrate

Being intentional with words--cultivating an attitude of celebration--makes a difference in our days.

Course Descriptions Made Easy

I am a mama with full days, like many of you. I look for simple and manageable. 

Though I am about excellence, I also am about simplifying and streamlining. 

But let's face it, sometimes we have to tackle tough. Course descriptions (CDs), often intimidating, are not always necessary. So, breathe easy. On the other hand, when they are needed, they are usually essential to the admission process. In addition, of all the families I work with, the large majority who were required to submit CDs also received substantial scholarship monies.

That is good news, really! 

So, what if CDs are essential to your student's college admission packet?

Don't panic!

Parents often confuse transcripts with course descriptions. The transcript provides a one-page snapshot of a young adult's high school course, grade, and credit summary. Course descriptions, however, offer short synopses of the learning chapters in your student's story. Ideally, those course descriptions should complement--add value and give clarity--to the transcript document.

Why course descriptions? For students graduating from a public entity, course catalogs (also called course guides or curriculum guides) are available online (used to be paper and had to be requested from the guidance department) and follow the requirements (standards) of that state (or now in many cases, Common Core). Colleges know the set criteria and standards met in the classroom are standard for each course at every school in that state. So, there is no need for each high school to write individual course descriptions for every class for every student. They write one course description--usually posted on their website--for all students, as long as they offer the course.

Home education is different. A sculpture class in one home is likely to look entirely different than a sculpture class in another home. One student may enroll in a sculpture class at a local art studio. Another may have been invited to join an artist for weekly mentoring in a private studio. Yet another student may dual enroll a sculpture class at the local college. The same distinctiveness can be applied to a literature course--each home can choose their own literature selections--or a science course--where the student might be invited to take part in a research project at a local university. There is no standard way to meet course requirements (unless your state dictates differently--this post assumes parents have researched and know the home education statute for their state). Hence, some colleges use course descriptions to assess the depth and rigor of a home education course because they know courses vary for each home school.

Some colleges ask home education parents to write course descriptions.

It is part of their verification process. With the eclectic mix of methods and means home educators utilize, the CDs do bring out the extraordinary opportunities homeschoolers have experienced and embraced. 

I remember the day a college requested I write CDs.

I panicked! 

After a deep breath...

Thankfully, we were early in our high school journey! I could easily remember the exceptional experiences our young adult had benefited from in his courses, variations from more traditionally-taught classes: 10 dissections he completed in Honors Biology at a local co-op. We had also designed courses around independent study, research, and personal reading. 

Additionally, I had been keeping a reading list on the computer. I could cut and paste those titles into course descriptions as needed. 

I was relieved. Since that first request and a total of four high schoolers later, 

I have learned to:

• Write course descriptions when the young adult begins the course (even if just the bare minimum is known: textbook, reading materials, anticipated experiential opportunities) and add significant educational highlights throughout the year. When I waited until the end of the year to write the whole description, I forgot some of the most beneficial learning blessings he experienced, no to mention getting my head above the project was monumental, or at least it seemed so when I felt I was drowning.

• Remind myself course descriptions tell the stories of the courses detailed on the transcript. It is the document college admissions personnel will reference as they consider offering admission, need more information to differentiate one student from another and offer scholarship. A course description is not an outline of the course and will be less likely to read if lengthy. Course descriptions are chapter summaries, hitting the highlights, offering the concepts learned, the teaching methods and resources used, and exceptional experiences in which the student participated.

• Take note of the unusual and unique. Course descriptions are especially important if the parent and young adult are designing unique courses, courses not typically offered on local school campuses or courses not generally taught in high schools, for example Introduction to Equine Science, Survey of the Building Construction Industry, or Care and Concerns of the Elderly.

• Record regularly. When I don't,  I forget valuable additions. In our busy, full years of adding a Bastian or spending evenings at the ball field, I found it helpful to start a student's course description document and add bullet points to the course titles. Later, when I have time,  I can revisit later and edit into cohesive sentences. Tackling course descriptions in this manner helps me remember important details and keeps me excited about what my young adult is accomplishing. When it is not in front of me, I tend to forget.

Keeping records current saved me time and headache later.

• Remind myself there are many ways to accomplish learning (this is true even of the state standards- the standard can be met with very different and unique methods). For example, American History. If two of the many learning goals for a high school level American History class are to understand the causes and consequences of the Civil War and the effects on the American people, and to understand the causes and consequences of World War II in the United States and abroad, the learning possibilities of how a student will understand those concepts are vast and plenty. Chapters in a text could be read and summary questions answered. On a family vacation up the East Coast of the United States, the family could visit and tour eight Civil War battlefields and National Parks and compare what actions were taken and who was involved at each location. The student could attend a local WWII veteran's meeting and listen to the stories shared by the members. Perhaps the local library hosts a presentation by surviving Tuskegee Airmen who share their wartime experiences from the perspective of African Americans serving during WWII (actual event we attended and it was AMAZING!). And then there are the plethora of primary source documents and biographical materials which could be read. Not only can the same learning goals be accomplished, but learning with this type of diversity allows young adults of different learning styles to retain information they might not otherwise remember. It is these exceptional and unique opportunities which can be highlighted in course descriptions, should a high schooling family choose to prepare this document or a college require it for admission.

Being intentional about writing course descriptions proved most valuable for courses we designed or courses developed from internships and shadowing experiences. When designing a course, I felt it was important to keep a running log of educational experiences, online resources, and learning resources, just as I would if I were compiling a course as a traditional classroom teacher.

There are blessings to writing course descriptions.

For us, the original course descriptions from my first high schooler could easily be cut, pasted, and edited to the unique experiences and opportunities of the high schoolers who followed. Second, though not all colleges asked for the description document, I sent them anyway. It was done and I wanted officials to have the document should they have questions. I know some parents feel this is a controversial and dangerous precedence for future home educated applicants, but in at least one situation those descriptions placed our young adult in a better position of acceptance in an honors college (because we couldn't document any of his courses as Honors or IB, which most of the applicants had earned). When the descriptions (which included reading materials) were read, the depth and expanse at which our young adult studied most of his courses could be realized. Our homeschool high school experience was just as rigorous as those students who had completed accredited IB programs. Note: Realizing that our student had the ability and desire to qualify for an IB or similar program, I researched the contents and reading materials utilized by these programs and then wove them into our studies. Again, this is our experience, not something I am advocating for every home schooled high schooler.

As we progressed through high school and began researching college admission requirements, I was thankful I had records of courses my student had completed.

Being intentional with writing course descriptions has served us well, in many cases. The work was done as we studied, and saved on the computer, should we need it. We did need it for our first applicant. With our second, because of dual enrollment and then an easy transition to the state college (and eventually a four-year university), the course descriptions were not necessary. On a side note, had our first and second grads followed their aspirations to play competitive collegiate sports (hence registering with the NCAA) having the course descriptions complete would have saved me a huge amount of time filling out their Core-Course Worksheets. Keep in mind as you consider NCAA and course titles, they prefer specific titles. Be aware.

This information (and more) is included in my book, Celebrate High School. which was heavily revised and updated summer 2015.  The revised edition contains every thing in the original publication as well as some new features including middle school sections.  

Join me at FPEA for my workshop, Happy (High School) Paper Trails to YOU!

This blog post is intended to offer an example of personal experience. It is in no way intended to be legal advice and should not be taken as such. Parents own the sole responsibility for the training and education of their children. 

Delighted to Be a Speaker at FPEA 2016

I am thrilled to be back at FPEA again this year. New workshops. New insight. New stories and practical helps to equip and encourage at every stage of the home education journey, preschool through high school.

Come see me at my workshops! I'm walking the journey with YOU!

Friday 10:30am

7. Celebrate Simple! Intentional Home Education

The simple teaches the profound. Cheryl shares stories and offers insight from her 21 years of homeschooling eight children — the everyday teachable moments, the simple yet ingenious ideas, the interest-driven learning — the things her graduated and grown young adults say mattered most. Learning together, building family relationships, is priceless. It's simple and worthy of celebration!

Friday 3:55pm

68. Happy (High School Paper) Trails to You!

High school is not a one-size-fits-all experience. It is a time to refine the skills needed to polish a student's God-given gifts and talents. But what does that look like on paper? How do you tailor courses which will prepare your child for what God has planned for their future? Cheryl walks parents through answers to these questions.

Saturday 1:45pm

129. Celebrate Middle School: Fostering Ingenuity

Middle schoolers will surprise you! When they do, be ready to foster ingenuity, seize opportunities and think outside the box. The middle school years, ripe with potential to impact entrepreneurial ventures, employment or college/career paths, can also be conflicting for parents and children. In this workshop, Cheryl offers practical tips from experiences as a homeschool mom and a wife of a 27-year middle school educator.

Saturday 3:55pm

153. Teaching Precious Preschoolers and Little Learners

Young children have an insatiable curiosity to learn and a natural desire to work alongside people they love most. How do we utilize these innate qualities to maximize their learning potential at home? Drawing from 28 years of experience of teaching early learners, Cheryl challenges attendees to look beyond societal and educational pressures to the emotional and developmental needs of young children. 

No Goats for Us!

I am glad I didn't buy the goat!

Had I listened only to popular trends twenty-one years ago when I began homeschooling there'd be a goat in the back yard (or maybe several) and an AA in my son's back pocket when he graduated from home.

Neither would have been helpful to our family, and particularly for our son. 

There's wisdom in learning from the experiences of those who have walked the path. I've learned from many.  However, sometimes the experiences of others are not the best provisions or plans for us. Had I not taken the time to really ponder (insert prayerfully consider over a period of time) the goat purchase would have relegated my family to something short of best for them. 

Families are unique, as unique as the number and ages of siblings, as unique as the colorful array of personalities. Our growing family? No different; though some days I longed for it to be the same as another family, somewhere. It would have been easier to just do what they did.

Those first years of homeschooling taught me that if I wanted to be successful (whatever that was in any given year) I was going to have to do my homework, and love the family in front of me, not the family next door or the next state over. I needed to learn, but I also needed to find the goodness in what I had. I tried to

• Connect with my husband and my children, daily. When this started slipping, others things slipped, too.
• Attend local homeschool support group meetings--especially the panel format meetings where several moms shared their journeys--but prayerfully sift out the gold nuggets our family needed, not just take home what sounded good or ideal.
• Made time for the state homeschool convention. It was big! My first several years, I took in small bites at a time as not to overwhelm my brain with could haves, should haves, if onlys.
• Subscribe to a magazine for encouragement and continuing education.  From this resource (I like resources I can highlight and dog ear) I got ideas and perspectives from a wider and broader community of homeschooling families. I wasn't taking surveys, but I did want to get ideas of what worked for others. I could tweak for our learners.
• Read widely--again for continuing education and personal renewal--but reminded myself that anyone, even those not fully versed in the subject, could write an article or blog post. I learned this early on when I began regularly reading a column specific to  homeschooling high school, only to discover the author was high schooling her oldest at the time she wrote the articles. Yes, she had wonderful insight and ideas, but I realized I wanted perspective from someone who could offer "been there done that" or "I would have done this differently" or "this worked for one, but not the other". 

I didn't do all of the above my first year! YOU don't have to, either.

As I reflect on our homeschooling years, more than two decades and several graduates later, I realize though I have experienced a wealth of opportunities and milestones, and gained nuggets of wisdom, I am still learning.  There are still learners in my home--more learners, more unique perspectives and needs--ripe with potential.

And, I do know this, looking back, pondering...

• My son didn't need the goat. He didn't need the AA, either. He needed a mom who would allow him to study Chemistry for hours at a time, practice math problems over and over, and read books from a variety of interests all afternoon, if he wanted. This is what prepared him for college coursework: long stretches of study on the same subject.
• My other son didn't need the goat, either (but dual enrollment and an AA was helpful). He needed a mom who would put aside pride (fear of what other homeschooling parents would think) and allow him to join Boy Scouts. His time in scouting offered opportunities to learn experientially from wildlife commissioners, ornithologists, biologists, contractors, and business professionals. Interacting with people of all ages and a variety of backgrounds prepared him for his career as a physical therapist. And, he gained valuable leadership skills as he climbed to Eagle.
• My oldest daughter needed choices. Choices for how to learn. Choices in curriculum. Choices in course content. And, she didn't choose goat.

I know other families chose goat, and it served them well.  In some cases, very well. Ah, the beauty of home education and unique paths. Your child might need a goat. Then again, he or she may not. 

Glean from the experience of others, but don't be afraid to ponder and give second thought.

YOU have the wonderful opportunity to make choices for your family--goat (or other fascinating experience), the gift of time, undivided attention, personal tutoring, or a hand to hold along the way. The list is infinite because the needs of every family--and every member in that family--are different, not like any other family. 

Embrace the difference, the uniqueness. Time passes quickly. 

(I am just so glad our homeschooling hasn't--at least so far--involved goats!)

A New Year to Create, Cultivate and Celebrate

How will you be intentional to create, cultivate and celebrate in your home?

Perhaps...

• Organize an art corner where ingenious minds can create.
• Refresh art supplies. Introduce a new medium.
• Bind last year's art masterpieces creating a portfolio to celebrate progress and change. 

• Offer new tools to cultivate life learning --protractors, microscopes, compasses, templates, 3-hole punches, staplers, balance scales
• Use New Year savings offered by digital scrapbook companies to create a family memory book where accomplishments and memorable favorites can be celebrated...TOGETHER!
• Provide blank books to budding authors and illustrators. Cultivate the need to create! 
• Say "yes" to requests for household trinkets and treasures. They may just be the next patent in the making. 

• Purchase a personal bookcase to fit bedside the contagious reader. 
• Read to the emergent reader eager to build fluency. Celebrate the sentence read and the chapter completed!
• Post a black-out list where newly mastered multiplication facts can be crossed off.
• Champion ideas and celebrate milestones. 

Loving Young Adults through Transitions and Decisions

College finals week. Laundry mishap ruins a favorite shirt. Misunderstanding with a close friend. Moving out. Wedding planning.

Life decisions and transitions breed stress, lack of confidence, doubt. 

How can a parent help a young adult through transition and difficult times?

Listen first, ask later. People crave a listening ear, especially when things go awry. Young adults are no different.

Text. A short line of encouragement shortens anyone’s long day.

Public praise. A positive public comment, whether live or on social media, adds spring to rough steps. Statements about character and work ethic speak volumes.

Make a date. Invite a young adult to share coffee or ice cream at a favorite sweet spot.  Getting away with someone who can encourage and build up, even for 30 minutes, adds vitality.

Say, “I like you!” Strong words—needing to be heard over the clamor of good grades and long hours—can be scribed on a napkin, placed on a piece of paper under a coaster or included in a text message. We all long to be liked for who we are, not just the grades earned, the kudos given or the numbers accumulated.

Wash a load. Offer to do a load or two of laundry. For students who usually do their own, having someone help in a time tight transition assures fresh socks and towels will greet a difficult day.

Fix a favorite. Nourishment when under stress is essential. Cook up a favorite meal and serve with a listening ear. If the young adult lives independently, offer to drop off something special at his or her convenience.

Ask. One of life greatest questions, “How can I help?” can be a blessing in a “give me more” society.

Surprise them. Drop off a surprise—balloon, cookies and cupcakes work well—at your young adult’s home or office, or leave a bouquet of flowers on his or her workspace, even if that workspace is in your home.

Instant message. In the days of instant contact, make it count! Everyone loves to answer the “ping” and read sweet thought.

Empathize. Send a letter or special card, snail mail. We like our inbox messages, but a letter in the mailbox still says, “I care about you!”

Be a study buddy.  When your young adult is studying hard with more assignments on the horizon, offer to work together at a venue away from home. Take your work—even if it is catching up on emails—and accomplish tasks together.  Fresh space speaks fresh mind.

Life can be difficult, transitions tough to tackle. All of us face them.

I remember one evening, about a year ago, my then college junior had taken up study camp in his quiet bedroom. I had not seen him in a few hours. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw the bedroom door open. He emerged, eyes tired, weary. When he entered the kitchen to refill a water glass, I quickly scooped up a few bite-size chocolates and tip-toed down the hallway. My mission—set a few chocolates on his textbook.

Several minutes later I heard him close his door and then reopen. “Hey, who put these there?”

Mission accomplished. I met him in the hallway. We smiled simultaneously.

No need to exchange words. We both knew.  

Young adults, even good time managers and planners, will face transitions and decisions—a natural part of life. As parents when we walk with our young adults, offering words of endearment, a shoulder to hug, an ear to listen, a prayer to share, we are model what walking with someone through difficulty looks and feels like.

As with anything in life, balance and prayerful consideration is needed. We cannot do their course work, take their online exams or show up at important meetings. Most importantly, we cannot fix their mistakes or solve their problems. And if we attempted a rescue, often the solution or answer we fashion is limited to our perspective or vantage point. How much better to help the young adult process the situation and allow them to work out a solution?

Lessen stress of life decisions and transitions, patting a back or offering help. Build confidence, commenting on a character attribute. Fill the holes of doubt with words of affirmation and hope. In doing so, young adults learn how to walk through transitions and decisions with someone by their side, and will be better equipped to stand alongside someone else in the future. 

My Mama Heart

Celebrating Simple.

What does a mama heart post have to do with celebrating simple to teach profound truths?

Mamas around the world walk with children and young adults through life-changing circumstances and decisions. Some mamas are more hands-on than off. Other mamas walk alongside, listening. In some situations mamas sit with head and hands pondering how to help. Often the only thing we mamas know to do is pray. Simple! 

Pray. Seems like a simple, pat answer especially when a child, young or adult is looking for an answer, hanging on the cusp of a pivotal time, a decision which changes everything. As mamas we want more, something concrete, something we can offer to cling to. At least I have. 

We, I and family members, have prayed for months, taken next steps toward something beyond our young adult's grasp, beyond our ability to "make it happen". The efforts, intentionally and action, were ours, but the answers were not. 

I wanted, as a mama, to make it happen. I couldn't. All I could do was a simple act. Pray. 

Today a phone call came.

The first indication that events are unfolding. We are seeing answers, our family, my young adult and I, the mama. And, my heart? It's full. 

Not because of something I controlled. I hadn't the power to make "it" happen. 

The only power I had was to pray. And, let God do the work. 

So, I am celebrating the simple today.

Simple prayers lifted daily. Profound truth reminded. 

Let God do His work.

And, us?

We do ours even if it seems way too simple.